Carved

Carved

JANNAT NAWAZ

Daastan Publishing 2024

First Published in Pakistan by Daastan PVT LTD

House # A-41, Madni Street, Lala Rukh, Wah Cantt, Punjab 47040

www.daastan.com

www.meraqissa.com

Text copyrights © Jannat Nawaz

Book Design copyright © Jannat Nawaz

Edited by: Mariam Rizvi and Zainab Nawaz

The moral rights of the writer, illustrator and editor have been asserted.

All rights reserved

This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or distributed in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

ISBN 978-969-696-957-0

eISBN 978-969-696-958-7

Printed and published in Pakistan by Daastan Printing Solutions

My dearest reader:

If it feels wrong,

It is wrong.

-let go, detach.

Poetry Map

Enraptured Fall

Mirage

Threads of restoration

Acknowledgments

About The Author

Enraptured Fall

Your smile brings me back to the home I've craved,

it’s a feeling unknown to me.

“Your face brings so much happiness to me”

-that was the best thing to hear, I swear.

You made an hour look like a second.

-Absolute dream

If I could compliment you in every 7,139 languages with all the compliments in this world, it wouldn’t be enough to tell you what you mean to me.

I've gone to great lengths to feel safe; it’s rare to feel unthreatened around men. All my life, I've yearned to experience the stability you effortlessly provide. Your presence is all I need. I hope you'll stay here with me till the end of time.

Only two things can leave me breathless.

1. You
2. Only you

I fell for you, telling myself, “I cannot, I will not.”

I love your heart, for it makes you who you are.

I've envisioned every detail of the day we'll finally meet, from my outfit to my makeup and the gifts I'll present to you. I've saved links for the items I'll purchase a week before our hangout, including the scented candle you mentioned and the body soap you were curious about. Oh, I'll also order those bookmarks that will remind you of me whenever you sit down to study, which I know you do often.

How will I react when our eyes meet? I've promised to greet you with my warmest smile. Though a hint of nervousness might linger, our easy camaraderie will settle my nerves within minutes. Sharing burgers, a shared love will be our simple pleasure. I'll treasure each small gesture you make, carefully storing them in my memory box, knowing this might be our only encounter. Deep down, I'm certain this day will rank among the finest in my life.

- It never happened, because you forgot about it every single time

How many times will you tell me you like someone, and I am not them? Sure, call me your friend. I’ll listen to everything you have to say while whispering to my heart that you’re happy, and I do want that for you above everything else.

Okay. She won't give you what I can, and I know you're aware of that too. So, what are you waiting for when everything you need is right here, begging for you at your door?

In my thoughts, it was only us,

Then you let her come, creating a sudden fuss,

I was ready to battle, determined and robust,

Yet you left behind a void, shattering my trust.

You once called me beautiful; I suppose she held an even greater beauty.

We used to listen to songs together, now you do listen to the same songs, but with her.

Telling me, “You’re so emotionally mature” got me thinking, maybe that's why one fool dated another fool.

-US

You were the star, which was meant to shine only for me, when I stood up for the war.

-Jealousy

Telling me I was your second choice, don't you think it was brutal?

Our random conversations, I read over & over again to make them something I really want, not what the reality is.

What’s your favorite memory of us? you asked.

I foolishly replied, "that one, also the one when we, and oh, also when you—" "I mean, every memory with you is my favorite."

-Lies

Remember the mornings when our first act was sending a 'good morning' text? How we exchanged pictures of our meals throughout the day? The hours we spent immersed in Spotify's melodies. Our idea of looking adorable in matching outfits? The shared laughter over my five-day mall visits with my cousin? Sending me pictures of your university schedule? Texts during your lunch break, from the car? Sharing how you looped my favorite song for hours? Our plans for gobbling gol gappas in desi outfits? You promising to wait until I felt at ease? Me confessing how you made me feel at ease and gleeful? Admiring your mother's feminism-inspired strength? Your curiosity about everything that piqued my interest? You thinking I'm cool and feeling drawn to me?  Our discussions about your past relationships and your sentiments for each one?